No one needs a vacation so much as the person who has just had one.

Well, I just got back from a four-day vacation to northern California to visit a friend. Flew into Sacramento on Wednesday (via Denver, my very favorite airport) and we immediately drove out of town to visit Apple Hill. We at at the Apple Cafe and had some burgers that were truly traumatizing. I mean, wow. Avoid the Apple Cafe, my friends. My friend had eaten there once before and it apparently wasn’t that bad, but I wouldn’t risk it. But we did get to go to a fun little fair at one orchard and visit a few others, one of which (pictured below) had a particularly great name.

That night we walked through a large and very confusing outlet mall, buying nothing but thoroughly exhausting my jet-lagged self even more than I thought possible. The next night I basically did nothing while my friend worked, then we met up with a friend of hers for dinner that night. Friday we took the obligatory Napa Valley trip, as if I would skip that. It was really beautiful and despite the fact that I had to drink more wine than I normally would (not a big wine fan, honestly) it was way awesome.

The next day was my final day, and it was spent mostly around San Francisco, where my outbound flight was. My friend was on the phone a lot working, which was perfectly fine, but that combined with getting lost via the GPS in her car made us slightly late (the getting lost … that’s a story I can’t even get into … let’s just say

… imagine this is a road instead of stairs:

and we drove up that and several more like it in this beast:

Basically, it was awesome. I love fearing for my life like that, picturing myself trapped in a steel box rolling down a mountain, taking out trees left and right, to land in a bloody pile of metal. Fun times. But seriously, it was pretty entertaining.

And while, yes, entertaining, it did however kill some major time that morning. So we were late getting to our first destination, the Muir Woods (for those who don’t know, this is one of the redwood forests in California – i.e. huge ass old trees). This place, while crawling with far too many tourists that seriously damage the tranquility you might otherwise feel walking through a forest like this, was truly beautiful.

Once leaving the forest, it was back down the mountain and off to the Golden Gate Bridge, where I basically just got out, stood and looked, took tons of pictures, and then returned to the truck. I’m a boring tourist, but really, what else was there to do? How long am I supposed to stare at this thing? Don’t get me wrong, it’s cool and all, but really. So then we drove down along the piers, saw an awesome homeless lady that was wearing what could only be magic pants because nothing short of abracadabra could have kept those pants hovering so perfectly halfway down her ass without falling completely off.

And then it was time to get thee to an airport. A scummy airport that I was told was nice, but then I compare all airports to the Denver airport which is far superior than most.

On the flight from SF to Phoenix I got stuck next to a woman who was far to chatty for my tastes, definitely not my ideal for a single-serving friend (name that reference!) but whattaya gonna do. Assigned seats and all. Well she was asking about my job and such, told her I work for a company that photographs marathons and graduations, and the guy on the other side of her was like, wait … MarathonFoto? Apparently he runs marathons all the damn time and is a big fan of our work. Hooray for meeting random happy customer. Oh, and he was a spine surgeon, funny. (funny in that I’ve been watching Lost recently and the doctor character on that show was a spine surgeon. I felt much safer with the knowledge that in case my flight crashed somewhere between California and Arizona and we were stuck on a deserted island … in a lake somewhere … we had a doctor who of course would perform all the responsibilities we laid on him, just like his tv counterpart. While looking all hot and sexy.)

My flight from Phoenix to Des Moines was delayed by a freaking hour and then we had to fly that almost 3 hour flight in what can only be described as an SUV with wings. The type of plane that was so small that it wasn’t even tall enough to make it to the normal gate. We had to exit the actual terminal, walk on the tarmac, and board the plane the old fashioned way. Awesome. I’ve been on a plane like this before, of course, but it was a tiny commuter plane and the flight lasted maybe half an hour. Not three fucking hours. What the hell. But whatever, I didn’t die. I was freaking tired when I finally landed though.

I spent that night with my cousin and her three … sorry, four … cats. She says she has four, and I have seen pictures of this elusive fourth, but I have never physically seen said cat. Sunday was spent driving north to visit the family for an early Thanksgiving, which was fun in that I got a quick chat with everybody, I got to hold a beautiful sleeping baby for a really long time, and, most importantly, I got to stuff my face with fantastically bad-for-you food. Ahh, the holidays.

And now, sadly, vaca is over. Let me just say that Monday sucked ass. Back to the daily grind that is life. Woot.

Oh, and side note – my eye keeps twitching. Annoying as fuck. And the ‘a’ on my keyboard apparently likes it rough because if I don’t pound it hard it says FUCK YOU and doesn’t work, more than annoying as the ‘a’ is used more than a little in the English language.

Here’s a few sign off treats for you:

A fantastic blog I discovered that I feel is worthy of my pimping: http://benandgod.tumblr.com/

And a few fun songs (only for the nerdy and truly clever):

Star Wars a Capella (challenge: name all the John Williams tunes used) – oh, and this is one guy, recording each part separately … not just nerdy, but way impressive *EDIT* I just found out the guy in the youTube video I plucked this from did not actually sing the song, he was just lip-syncing … the actual song was recorded by an a Capella band called Moosebutter. Yes their name is that awesome. They’re not as entertaining to watch as Corey Vidal, the performer in the youTube video, nor is it as impressive as one guy singing that song alone, but still. Credit where credit due.